I am my own wilderness

My words have been piling up on each other, tangled in thoughts that I can no longer ignore. It feels too important to hide them in my heart anymore. So here I am, writing, with joy, to you.

This whole thing has been inspired by the book of Joshua—specifically chapters 13 and 14. My Bible has this section titled, "Dividing the Promised Land". It was upon reading the introductory paragraph for this section that God opened my eyes to see the experience of the wilderness and the gift of the Promised Land with new eyes. 

Let me share this with you.

"After seven years of battle, Israel gained control of the land, which was then divided and allotted to the tribes. Joshua dismissed the army, for it was now each tribe's responsibility to clear out the remaining enemies from their own areas. Joshua continued to encourage the people to remain faithful to God so they could remain in the land. The Promised Land was Israel's earthly inheritance. But Israel also had a spiritual inheritance in which we can share when we live a life of faithfulness to God."

These are the points that God highlighted to me:

• The seven years of battle occurred after 40 years of wandering in the wilderness

• Therefore, the arrival in the Promised Land, the land of milk and honey, was brought with war—upon arrival. 

• Even after the war they engaged in upon arrival, each tribe had their individual responsibility to clear out the specific land given to them.

This image of the Promised Land is entirely more relatable than the image of the land of milk and honey I had nestled into my mind. I had been thinking I was doing something entirely wrong to be battling life in the ways I have for so many years. But maybe, maybe, this is the Promised Land. The Promised Land of the Bible had years of wilderness before arrival, and upon arrival, a series of battles awaited the weary loved ones of the Lord. I can imagine the Israelites asking, "Where is the milk and honey here?" And this, being entirely more relatable, has encouraged my heart as I continue in my daily battles, and I am wondering if it might be of encouragement to you as well, my dear. 

You see, the mere presence of challenge and battles doesn't intrinsically mean we have done it wrong, it does mean we must continue forward, walking faithfully in the promises of God. I do believe I wandered needlessly for a decade or two, and I will share more with you about this season as we get to know one another better, but it brought great courage to know that the Promised Land mirrored my life more than I had originally thought.

I am my own wilderness, and yet, in spite of myself, I am invited to the Promised Land of the Lord—and you, my dear, are too.